When should you take your child to a psychologist?

January 19 2023
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    Parents want their children to feel happy and fulfilled. I want it to develop properly and be surrounded by good people and establish satisfying relationships. Life situations are different. We experience a whole range of emotions in them - not only positive, pleasant, good, but also difficult, unpleasant emotions, such as make us sad. 

    Both young children and adolescents experience all these conditions. How to deal with it? What should a parent worry about - difficult emotions, behavior? When should you go to a psychologist with a younger child, and when with a teenager? And what is important, do you need a referral to see a child psychologist?

    When should you take your child to a psychologist?

    Starting with the youngest children - which should concern us and make us consider: when should you take your child to a psychologist?

    This may be a situation where it becomes apparent that the child does not develop harmoniously. A parent's concern may arise when any the behavior is excessive, too little, or absent at all (e.g. a child does not speak for a long time, does not point a finger, and is over a year old). It can also be a situation where a caregiver is watching hyperactivity childplaying in an unusual way, rigid action, aggression, restless or too closed and withdrawn behavior.

    What could be the reasons for the inharmonious development process? 

    Some children may be highly developed in certain areas, e.g. intellectually or motorically, while their development may be insufficient in terms of emotional or social experiences. Parental anxiety can be caused by:

    • health problemswhich doctors cannot explain by medical reasons (allergies, rashes, stomach problems);
    • You can go to a psychologist if you have a child tics, stutters or there is regression in the form bedwetting;
    • are also the reason why parents can't deal with it emotional or social problems of the child, sometimes qualified as disordersi.e.: anxiety disorders, eating disorders, disturbances in relation to the environment, traumatic experiences resulting from an injury or a highly stressful situation, as well as suspicions that the child mutilates himself;
    • some parents and teachers suggest visiting a psychologist for children who, according to them, do not absorb school and textbook content quickly enough.

    Expert advises

    At first glance, it is difficult to distinguish whether the problem is really the inability to learn, some disorder, or simply an individual feature of the child. After all, we know perfectly well that everyone learns and functions at their own pace. The vigilance of the parent, but also of the teacher, is always advisable. It should be accepted with kindness, bearing in mind the possibility of early intervention, looking at the child's development and accurate observation. 

    Joanna Pruban
    Psychologist, pedagogue and specialist in psycho-oncology, Department of Oncology and Oncological Surgery for Children and Adolescents, Institute of Mother and Child

    If you are wondering when to go with your teenager to a psychologist - remember that the sooner you visit a specialist's office, the better. It is easier to correct a child's difficulties than to "change" already fixed mistakes.

    How do I tell my parents that I want to go to a psychologist?

    Some children show a willingness to go to a specialist on their own. Sometimes the difficult task seems to be the question of how to tell my parents that I want to see a psychologist? Especially since some parents downplay the problems or run away from them.

    It should be clearly indicated that parents' resistance to psychological diagnosis is fully justified. After all, it's about the fear of stigmatization that arises in them - "something about the child is not quite as it should be". It is difficult for any parent to accept the idea that a child may be in trouble. Even unconsciousness may suggest not to notice inconvenient aspects or situations concerning the child. However, such behavior can lead to disregard or even complete neglect of the problem.

    A parent who is afraid that a child has a problem often avoids being aware of it. What if we could treat the problem we see as baby challenge? Or maybe the child's naughty behavior in kindergarten is due to a lot of stimuli, and not because of the problems that the child has? Let's listen to what the child has to say - maybe he sends us signals himself, but he doesn't know how to tell his parents that he wants to see a psychologist.

    What is psychological help for children and adolescents?

    Expert advises

    A parent looking for a psychologist's support in a problem he encounters in raising his child can get psychological or psychotherapeutic help in psychological offices and counseling centers where specialists in selected fields work. This assistance should be aimed at supporting the child's development, taking into account its predispositions and capabilities. You can focus on working with emotions, strengthening the child's resources and dealing with internal resistance in social, cognitive and emotional functioning. 

    Joanna Pruban
    Psychologist, pedagogue and specialist in psycho-oncology, Department of Oncology and Oncological Surgery for Children and Adolescents, Institute of Mother and Child

    Psychological testing, which can be carried out by a psychological clinic, can help identify the source of the problem. Even if it turns out that the parent is dealing with a problem that results from the child's innate characteristics, there are a number of possibilities that will allow you to determine, for example, individual educational requirements. This can prevent the child from becoming discouraged and thus prevent the withdrawal and aggravation of the problem. 

    In a difficult situation related to, for example, the divorce of parents, the death of a loved one - parents do not always feel strong enough to talk to their child. Can they then think about seeing a psychologist? Talking to a psychologist? Can a psychologist help tell parents about the problem they face, thus showing support in confronting the child?

    There are situations in family life when it is better to take your child to a psychologist. In parent-child relationships, adults do not always feel competent or feel that the situation has exceeded their strength, emotions and understanding to responsibly lead the child through a difficult moment. Talking to a "stranger" who looks at the situation from a different perspective can be helpful and soothe the difficult moment.

    How do you know when it's worth asking a specialist for help?

    First of all, you need to trust your intuition, which tells you when it is best to go with a younger child or teenager to a psychologist. We feel that "something disturbing is happening", "can I support/help my child here and now?" After all, the parent feels whether the obstacles arising in the functioning of the child cause difficulties in the daily functioning of the child and the family. 

    For example, if a child is crying, irritable, unable to sleep or eat, feels fear, unusual ailments coming from the body, it may be a signal that something difficult is happening in the child's life.. Of course, this is not about one-off situations, but about a long-lasting symptom. Perhaps the child himself feels the need to talk to a specialist, but does not know how to tell his parents that he wants to see a psychologist.

    Do I need a referral to see a child psychologist?

    On the occasion of observing the child's disturbing behavior, and also when we discover that the child himself does not know how to tell his parents that he wants to go to a psychologist, but he needs it, a practical issue arises related to going to see a specialist - namely the question of referrals. you wonder Do I need a referral to see a child psychologist?

    If a parent decides to go to a psychologist with a child under the National Health Fund, such a referral will be needed. They can be issued by both a family doctor, a pediatrician and a psychiatrist. However, if we care about time, it is worth thinking about visiting a private office, where a referral is no longer required.

    Czy and what psychologist can tell parents: so what do consultations with a psychologist look like?

    Are you wondering what consultations with a psychologist look like, or do you want to know if a psychologist can tell your parents about the topics discussed during the visit?

    Psychological consultation of children consists in individual work with the child or, at a later stage, in family therapy. There are usually three diagnostic and consultation meetings initially. The first visits are used to identify the problem by a psychologist or psychotherapist and to build relationships with the child and his parents. Both diagnostic and therapeutic meetings are held once a week.

    There are such problems in children that require more frequent meetings with a psychologist. Sometimes a psychologist practices a scheme where the first consultation takes place with the parent himself (e.g. when there is a suspicion that the child is mutilating himself) to learn the problem from the adult's point of view, then only the child is invited.

    In psychological help, contact with the parent and its frequency, as well as whether and what exactly the psychologist can tell the parents about his observations about the child, largely depends on the theoretical approach of the therapist. However, regarding the question of whether the psychologist can tell the parents about what he has learned from the child during the consultation, it should be noted that the specialist cannot be required to share all information with carers obtained during the provision of services. A psychologist or psychotherapist can, however, tell the parents general conclusions and therapeutic recommendations.

    Aspect of fun in therapeutic practice

    In the treatment of children and adolescents play is often used in therapeutic practiceor engage in work fun elements. It helps you connect with your baby in a natural way. From the therapeutic perspective, play gives the child the opportunity to relieve emotions, and the therapist a chance to observe the feelings and behavior of a small patient. In addition, it is a pleasure for a child to participate in play, and it builds a climate of trust and safety in the psychological office.

    During the meeting, the psychologist looks at how the child treats objects and interprets their symbolic aspect (dolls, blocks). A child builds a world of imagination, often showing an image of his own childhood.

    How to prepare a child for a visit to a psychologist?

    Expert advises

    Before a parent informs a child about a visit to a specialist, he should examine his own beliefs on the subject. Working with a child should include a strong component of trust of both the child and the parents in the person of the therapist. To a large extent, the attitude of the parents themselves and their narrative about psychological help, whether a child is willing or not to meet a psychologist. 

    Joanna Pruban
    Psychologist, pedagogue and specialist in psycho-oncology, Department of Oncology and Oncological Surgery for Children and Adolescents, Institute of Mother and Child

    If the parents are skeptical and reluctant, they talk about the meeting as a punishment for bad behavior in kindergarten or school, and the child will also perceive it in this way. A psychologist or psychotherapist should be presented as a person who he will understand things, give help in difficulties, help build resources. Then the meeting will become lighter and more open for the child.

    When to go with a teenager to a psychologist?

    Children's adolescence - can a psychologist help in resolving conflicts that arise during this period?

    Adolescence is a time of many changes at the physiological and psychological level. This is a new period for both the teenager and his parent, appearing as a life revolution. At the level of biology, the body of a young person changes into the body of an adult person, hormones play the first violin. Changes also apply to other areas of development. At the cognitive and emotional level, there is greater criticism of everyone and everything, as well as difficulties with regulating crowding emotions.

    Rebellion is mixed with the need to be accepted. In addition, it is necessary to emphasize the multitude of stimuli from multimedia, the rush of the world, life and emotional swing. This creates a volcanic mix. In such an atmosphere, the following problems may begin to arise:

    • alcohol or drugs;
    • failure to respect any rules (social, home, school);
    • aggression towards the environment;
    • depressive moods, withdrawal, self-aggression;
    • remissness;
    • and even the suspicion that the child is mutilating himself. 

    There may also be unexplained health problems - frequent headaches, abdominal pain, infections. 

    Expert advises

    It is worth building contact with a young person in this developmental period so that they feel accepted and understood. However, building an agreement is very difficult. Sometimes it is enough to work through temporary crises, feelings that destabilize everyday life and name the difficulties. Other times, you need cooperation with a specialist who will be a buffer for all your worries.

    Joanna Pruban
    Psychologist, pedagogue and specialist in psycho-oncology, Department of Oncology and Oncological Surgery for Children and Adolescents, Institute of Mother and Child

    Psychological help and parental support

    Sometimes the help of a psychologist hits the parent's ego, striking the image of an ideal guardian. There are situations where mom, dad think that they are not enough support for the child, that they can't cope. It's worth looking at it from a different angle - Using psychological help helps the child to solve the problem. 

    Observing your own child and noticing by the parent that there is a problem is a very important parenting competence. No one thinks a parent is bad if they want to find help for their child.

    Author

    Joanna Pruban
    Psychologist, pedagogue and specialist in psycho-oncology, Department of Oncology and Oncological Surgery for Children and Adolescents, Institute of Mother and Child

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