What to do when your child cries at kindergarten: how to deal with difficult stories brought from kindergarten?

SEPTEMBER 1, 2024

Has it ever happened to you that your child came back from kindergarten crying and complaining about their friends or teachers? Maybe they told you that someone took their toy, didn't want to play with them, or that they were hit by a peer? Such difficult stories can trigger a lot of emotions in us parents, but the right reaction in such moments is extremely important. What to do when baby crying in kindergarten and talks about the problems he experiences?

In our article, you will read why children sometimes come home with difficult emotions and how to best support them in these situations. We will touch on topics related to coping with peer conflicts, cooperation with the kindergarten and how to build emotional resilience in a toddler. We encourage you to read it to find out what to do when a child cries in kindergarten and how to support them in difficult moments.

Why do children cry in kindergarten?

We must be aware that starting a kindergarten adventure is a completely new experience for a child. a new stage in life, and also entering a new environment that requires a lot of emotional involvement.

A toddler who was previously under the constant care of his parents must suddenly find his place in a group of peers, learn to cooperate, share toys and resolve conflicts. This can be overwhelming, which often leads to tears and frustration.

Justyna Hermaniuk

Psychologist at the Department of Early Psychological Intervention and the Day Rehabilitation Center for Children, Institute of Mother and Child

The expert advises:

When a child cries in kindergarten, it is often because they are just learning the ability to self-regulate emotions. In children, the processes of coping with emotions are not yet fully formed, and to cope with a given situation, they need support from an adult. At such a young age, children are just learning how to deal with anger, sadness or frustration. Instead of words, their emotions manifest themselves through crying. In conflict situations, such as a friend taking away a toy, the child does not know how to express their feelings, so they cry. This is a natural reaction that results from the need for support and a sense of security.

Examples of difficult situations that children come back from kindergarten with

In preschool, children face many emotional challenges that often cause crying. Here are the most common situations they may come home with and which are worth discussing with your child:

A friend took away a toy: Children treat their toys as something very personal, so losing an object can trigger strong emotions.
Rejection by the group: When a child feels excluded from play, it can have a major impact on their self-esteem and self-confidence.
Experience of aggression from peers: Both physical and verbal aggression can be very difficult for a child to understand and process emotionally.
A sense of injustice from the teacher: Children often perceive teacher comments as hurtful or undeserved, which can lead to frustration.

The above are some of the most common difficult situations that our child may encounter in kindergarten, but not the only ones. As parents, we should be prepared for such moments to properlyo react and support the toddler. What can we do when a child cries in kindergarten?

What to do when baby crying in kindergarten?

When your child cries at nursery, it is crucial to support them both at home and at the nursery. Apart from the obvious, providing them with understanding and a safe space where they can share their feelings, it is worth establishing cooperation with the teacher, who has the opportunity to observe the child throughout the day.

Together you can decide, what makes you cry – whether it’s a conflict with peers, homesickness, or other situations. If the problem persists, talking to a teacher will help create an action plan that will help the child feel safe and understand their emotions.

Justyna Hermaniuk

Psychologist at the Department of Early Psychological Intervention and the Day Rehabilitation Center for Children, Institute of Mother and Child

The expert advises:

Learning simple relaxation techniques can be very helpful. Breathing exercises (e.g. deep breaths and slow exhalations) can help your child cope with tension. Relaxation games, such as cuddling a favorite toy, can also provide respite during stressful times. If crying is a persistent problem, it is worth developing a joint support plan with the teacher so that a consistent approach to the child's emotions is used both at home and at preschool.

How to respond to difficult stories brought back from kindergarten?

When a child cries at kindergarten and brings home difficult stories, it is crucial listening carefully.

Create a safe space to talk. The child needs to feel that his emotions are important and he can express them without fear. Sit next to him, stay calm and focus on what he is saying without interrupting. This will allow the child to open up and talk about his experiences.
Avoid judging situations too quickly, because it may prevent the child from opening up to further conversation.
Ask open-ended questions, which will help him better express what he feels.

Instead of asking: Why are you crying?, try to say: What happened when Ala took your toy? and/ or How did you feel when Santa didn't want to play with you?

Express empathy, but try not to exaggerate the problem. You can say: I understand that it was difficult for you, but sometimes these things happen in fun.This will help your child understand their feelings, but at the same time learn to distance themselves from minor conflicts.
Show different ways to cope. It becomes important to show the child the possibility of resolving the situation. Together, decide what the child can do if he or she experiences a situation, e.g. When Ala takes your toy, you can go to the Lady and ask for help or tell Ala that it is your toy and you want her to give it back to you.

What to do when a child cries in kindergarten? The most important thing is to be present, listen and support your toddler in learning to deal with emotions.

How to support your child's emotional development so they can cope better in kindergarten?

A child's emotional development begins at home, so it's worth practicing dealing with emotions with them every day. Games that teach naming emotions, reading books on the subject, and talking about situations from kindergarten are helpful.

Justyna Hermaniuk

Psychologist at the Department of Early Psychological Intervention and the Day Rehabilitation Center for Children, Institute of Mother and Child

The expert advises:

A child who feels understood and safe will learn more quickly how to react in difficult moments. It is also important to build a relationship based on trust - this will make the child more confident in contacts with peers. However, if you notice that your child regularly experiences difficult emotions, despite support at home, it is worth considering talking to a psychologist. Constant withdrawal, fear of kindergarten or prolonged crying may be signals that support from a specialist is needed.

Patience and consistency are key, but open communication with your child and collaboration with teachers can work together to produce the best results.

If you are having trouble managing your child's emotions, remember that seeking professional help is not a sign of failure, but a conscious step towards your child's emotional health.