The child does not want to go to kindergarten: what to do? How to encourage a child to kindergarten?

Starting pre-school education is a big change for children. However, the question how to convince a child to go to kindergartenIt sometimes rains only when the reluctance of a few-year-old to stay at the facility every day is revealed. What can parents do before this happens to help their children enter a new stage that is important for their development? How to encourage a child to kindergarteninstead of forcing him? How to react in the event of difficulties i what attitude to take when the child does not want to go to kindergarten? Read what an experienced person can advise on these matters psychologistchildren's g.

The preschool period is the time when a child comes out of the shade of parental care and begins to live in a preschool environment, among peers, in a different social group, with people strangers to each other. In kindergarten there is a different routine than at home, in kindergarten there are rules that apply to the group, it is different than at home. A three-year-old child, starting the preschool stage, is faced with big changes, and thus with fear and anxiety of the unknown. From the psychologist's perspective, we suggest what the role of parents is in this situation, and what behaviors to avoid in order to convince the child to go to kindergarten and what can help if the child does not want to attend it.

The kindergarten is a change of the child's lifestyle

A parent's return to work is the most common reason for the decision to enroll a child in kindergarten. The time is over when the baby develops and matures under the watchful eye of mom and dad, being guarded step by step and playing safely at home. His social life went on at home until that moment, extended to the context of grandmother and grandfather, extended family, friends and children met at playgrounds. The child felt close to the parent, knew what the daily routine was, learned the times to sleep, eat and play.

In the face of this safe haven of parents, siblings and a famous home, going to kindergarten for a small child is a milestone in his development, or even a great challenge that he faces. There are children who smoothly enter the stage of adaptation to a new place and situation, and others for whom it is a difficult experience, they need more time, attention, support and guidance through this initial period.

How to encourage a child to kindergarten?

The way in which parents will talk to their children about kindergarten depends on them, because they know their child best, they know what content will be interesting. It is also important for the child to be able to ask - ask in a childlike way, through thinking. Such an open conversation, supported by e.g. a book, pictures, examples of other people known to the child who attend kindergarten, may be an incentive to further explore the preschool topic with the child.

The teacher and educator are also of great importance. His attitude, openness, joy and commitment, as well as careful observation of children, are a big factor in responding to a child's willingness or reluctance to attend kindergarten.

Parents have no influence on the choice of a teacher, but contact and efficient communication with him can certainly contribute to cooperation and reliable transfer of information about the child.

Why the child does not want to go to kindergarten?

There may be various reasons why children do not want to attend preschool. One of them is getting up early, especially in autumn and winter, where after the warm holiday time, when the days were long and full of attractions, a cool, gray, short day comes and the weather changes to rainy and gloomy. It does not help the baby to wake up early, to get to the intensity of the morning.

A child who is 3, 4, 5 years old often does not understand why he should leave home so early and spend half a day away from home. Merely not understanding this situation, and at the same time symbiosis with parents, may cause elevated emotions and strong experiences. And the parents are also not free from them, especially because they are in a hurry in the morning, because it is difficult for them to quickly tame the child's experiences and lead the toddler and themselves to stability and control of the situation. That is why the ways of leaving the house, developed individually by every family, every parent with a child, are so important.

How to convince a child to exit to kindergarten?

The baby should get enough sleep

It is worth paying attention to the evening before going to kindergarten, so that the child goes to bed at a favorable time, so that he sleeps as long as possible. A dream should be preceded by some pleasant feelings - reading a book, listening to quiet music, a story told by a parent, stroking on the back and head. It would be good for parents to prepare all the things needed to go out and take them with them in the early hours of the morning to avoid nervous atmosphere and confusion.

Let's take care of the child's well-being

In the morning, also let something nice happen - your favorite song when you wake up or your favorite breakfast sandwich. On the way to kindergarten, we can do some fun, in the style of - we observe unusual things outside the car window, and then we tell each other about them. If we go to the kindergarten on foot, we can count the steps alternately with the child, collect treasures - leaves, cool pebbles, chestnuts, etc. The farewell should be gentle, affectionate, but cheerful, with a good parent's face with the assurance that we will come for the child at the appointed time, for example, after high tea, so that the child has a reference to the time they recognize.

Let's build nice associations

To add value to the kindergarten, we can arrange an afternoon with the parents of a favorite friend on the playground for a joint walk to the park. The next day in kindergarten may contain elements of remembering the joint meeting, you can tell the child to ask a friend about their impressions and what they liked.

The method of small steps

In young children, whose pre-school adaptation is slow, it is important that the time in kindergarten is gradually extended, in order to introduce the child to the new rules, activities, rituals and pre-school reality in small steps.

Pay attention to the child

After kindergarten, it is good to spend some time with your child playing together, preparing afternoon tea or dinner together. The moments of reading together, telling about what happened during the day are important. Such 100% attention to the child builds a sense of security and uniqueness in him and gives him strength for the next days in a long week.

What NOT to do if your child is reluctant to attend kindergarten?

A child's attitude towards kindergarten is a component of many factors - a child's disposition and attitudes, the attitude of the parent, the teacher's attitude and the atmosphere in the kindergarten. It is important not to scare the child with a punishment for reluctance towards kindergarten, but also not to promise rewards for being brave during the day. When an adult yells at a child, it creates a nervous atmosphere and heightens the child's fear - especially when it happens when it is going out or about to break up in kindergarten. When a child does not want to go to kindergarten, the parent's peace of mind and his cheerful attitude to the situation are very important.

When baby cries in kindergarten ...

It is not a one-off or exceptional situation that a child cries in kindergarten. It is actually a natural reaction of a beginning preschooler to changing, new and stressful circumstances. It is also a difficult time for a parent. It is important that adults do not burden children with their doubts and fears, they can share them with their partner, family and specialists. The child needs space for his own emotions and experiences - he has the right to be afraid and cry, miss and be sad during the day. You have to explain to the child that such feelings are okay.

If the parent forces the child to behave in a polite manner, avoiding / refraining from crying, and supports it by promising to reward the child or punish him for not fulfilling the request, he will not eliminate difficult emotions in the child, but will lock them in, leaving him in this state of tension. .

Look at kindergarten through the eyes of a child

There is no ready-made recipe for persuading a child to attend kindergarten, but it is worth avoiding behaviors that will certainly not be of use to them. We cannot expect a child to adapt quickly to changes, to immediately change their difficult behavior and to go to kindergarten without any problems. If the parent allows the child to freely express himself and everything that he is afraid of and dislikes in kindergarten, he will show his acceptance, which is already a real support for the toddler.

You have to be prepared for difficult behaviors after returning home - where the tension from kindergarten may need an outlet - in the form of problems with falling asleep, arguing or not cooperating. We, adults, can also play with the child at kindergarten at home, then the child who plays "the lady" will express, repeat, and illustrate what he sees and feels every day in the kindergarten. Let's see the world of kindergarten through the eyes of a child, as well as the fears and fears related to it.