How to be a good father?

Almost any man can become a father, but it is a great challenge to be a father who loves and supports you! There is a whole range of experiences that activate when a baby is born. These impressions and feelings aren't just for mom. Good father, I mean what? The perfect dad, nowadays, he is an open, active partner and a participating, committed father.

The birth of a son or daughter is the moment when mom and dad enter a new world, where they have someone else in addition to each other - a child for whom they take full responsibility. Fatherhood in this respect is a challenge - a dad becomes a model for a son, a daughter.

Is the patriarch supporting the family it good father?

Fatherhood has many shades and is classified in many different ways. Among the many models, the sociologist Dr. Marta Bierca distinguishes 6 types of fathers:

• Principal Professional (Where Authority Dominates)
• Responsible educator (guide and model)
• Changed by fatherhood (a moved and overprotective dad)
• Imperfect guardian (overwhelmed by role)
• Affectionate protector (dad as a key role in life)
• A proud buddy (friendship and community relationship with a child)

The patriarchal dad, a sacred model backed by tradition, was in effect in most families until recentlywhere the "good father" most often ended his duties by earning money or making a career, and his rights were very flexible, he "watched" children from a distance. Another model is father absent - overwhelmed by the amount of duties and responsibilities - disappears when the child is born. The type of dad today does not have a uniform image, presenting different faces, but it certainly meets the expectations of the child and partner.

Contemporary fatherhood: other than traditional

Today, dad shares the responsibilities with a woman, learns the new situation of the birth of a child and becomes open to these experiences. A modern dad directly takes care of and supports his children. Going to the playground with them, cooking or cleaning is not a problem for him. This cultural change is often met with the reaction of the environment - with enthusiasm - "what a good dad!" And yet he does nothing extraordinary - he takes care of his child and takes responsibility for him on an equal footing with his mother. After all, mothers do not extinguish their sacrifice and responsibility for the child even for a moment, they still do something, and no one praises how involved they are with such passion, while their every mistake or shortcoming is noticed and even sometimes condemned.

Dad in a new dimension

Everyday life is built of action and tasks. The modern ideal dad or "supertata" knows this and is open to being in the role of father and husband. Today's good father takes his duties as something natural and does not need applause for it, because he is part of the family, not only a source of earned money, or an expert on home repairs. This approach to the role of supporting the family rests on the shoulders of both parents. The role of the "hunter" is removed from dad, who is only to take care of the hunting of the game, which in turn causes many inhibitions and disorders resulting from stress, Fri. Will I be able to support my family?

Expert advises

Traditional approaches often place mum and dad in roles for which they are not always made. Sometimes it is a woman who is more resourceful, has more energy and expression than her partner, and easily earns money. Keeping her forcibly at home will make her unhappy, and perhaps her partner who is her opposite. The contemporary "supertata" contributes to the well-being of the family. In such a situation it becomes normal for the house to have a different order than the traditional one. A man accepts himself, his role and the role of his partner, this attitude also teaches children to accept themselves over time, along with advantages and disadvantages, resources and limitations.

Joanna Pruban

Psychologist, pedagogue and specialist in psycho-oncology, Department of Oncology and Oncological Surgery for Children and Adolescents, Institute of Mother and Child

Perfect dadthat is, present and engaged

Today, my dad on the playground, walking with a pram, does not cause any surprise. Fathers appreciate the opportunity to fulfill this role more, to be involved in and support their children's development at every stage. They want to be professional in their actions, therefore they are looking for knowledge, tools and solutions. This can be seen on internet forums where parents exchange experiences and opinions on the health or upbringing of their toddler. Such topics also appear among men, which did not happen at all, during social gatherings. It is no wonder that reading guides or books on nutrition for children - to learn how to be a good father, it is worth referring to various sources. Dad's childcare has ceased to be something unmanly, and has even become a symbol of masculinity of a dad who cares for his offspring. An ideal dad is also not ashamed of his emotions - he can be moved, impulsively hug his partner, a child, and laugh to tears with them. It all becomes the basis for the children - son and daughter - not to pretend and be authentic to each other.

The Decalogue, that is how to be a good father in practice?

Here's what the "supertata" points out:

1. He tells children he loves them, shows them tenderness by cuddling them.
2. He is present in spirit and body.
3. Admits mistakes, instead of "playing" the perfect one.
4. It shows emotions, including those related to sadness.
5. It accompanies children in crazy fun.
6. He spends time alone with his children.
7. He cares about spending time actively together, which builds up the family.
8. He eats meals with the children.
9. He takes conversations with the child seriously, focusing on the positive.
10. She works to calm herself not to yell at the baby.

The above list is not only the 10 commandments of the perfect dad. It is also a practical hint on how to be a good father in everyday life and get the most out of parenting.

Author

Joanna Pruban

Psychologist, pedagogue and specialist in psycho-oncology, Department of Oncology and Oncological Surgery for Children and Adolescents, Institute of Mother and Child