A feeling of loneliness

Each of us feels lonely at times. However, it happens that sometimes we need this solitude. We are looking for peace, quiet and respite. However, there are states where loneliness turns into loneliness. Then a feeling of inner emptiness, sadness, fear and helplessness creeps into our lives. Usually, loneliness is a temporary state, but what if this state continues and becomes unbearable? What is loneliness and what are its causes? How to deal with loneliness?

What is loneliness?

Loneliness is a subjective, emotional state of feeling social isolation, being cut off from others, and being isolated. Such a state appears and disappears when the life situation changes. In the case of chronic loneliness, it is experienced permanently no matter what the circumstances.

About temporary loneliness, we can safely say that it is normal and inevitable, while pchronic disability is a serious conditionwhich has a very negative impact on the quality of human life and its everyday functioning. It causes stress in a person, which affects physical and mental processes, causing various ailments and somatic diseases.

The causes of loneliness

There are a number of psychological factors that significantly affect the feeling of loneliness. Belong to them:

• weak Self-Esteem, self-confidence, which causes avoiding contacts with others for fear of rejection;
• low self-esteem leads to mistrust to others and to their own abilities, which activates avoiding social contact;
• the above two factors imply lonelinesswhich perpetuates low self-esteem;
• a contributing factor is also poor development of communication skills with others, low level of interpersonal skills, causing social withdrawal, and inhibition in dealing with people;
• fear of emotional closeness;
• avoiding social risk related to establishing a relationship with another human being;
• emotional distance and limitation of interactions to formalized acts of communication;
• cognitive factors that build a distorted self-image.

Sources of loneliness

Loneliness is a broad concept and a complex phenomenon. We distinguish its various causes which are related to each other. However, it should be taken into account that the first source of loneliness lies in infant development. It is during this early childhood period that it is important for the baby to feel the presence of his mother, to have the feeling that he can count on her and that he is with him all the time - responding to crying and any needs.

Interestingly, too close a relationship with the parents may also reach the source of loneliness, because a child who is completely dependent on his parents will not learn to cope with difficult situations on his own.

Then even the occasional lack of close adults causes anxiety. In later situations in life, an adult may suffer from a lack of self-esteem, he is afraid to leave the comfort zone. The cause of loneliness may also be caused by some external situations, such as loss of loved ones or illness. Difficult love experiences can also lock a person in a shell that is supposed to protect against being hurt again. In early childhood, we incorporate unconscious mental patterns that have a great influence on how we cope with difficult situations later on.

Wrong Ways To Deal With Loneliness

Loneliness is "the disease of today". People are devoted to the race of life, they rush to work to which they devote themselves, they run away from real relationships, communication, avoid emotional ties.

Despite good work, friends and family, there are times when a person states that he is completely alone.

How to deal with loneliness?

Continued loneliness, not a choice but a problem or a compulsion, can be both emotional and physical harm. If a person has a feeling of loneliness, it is worth finding a path that will lead him to deal with the type of loneliness he is feeling.

To overcome loneliness, you need to be willing to get out of the crisis and take the initiative to improve your mental health, your feelings and relationships with other people. A psychologist can certainly help.

What are some possible ways to be alone that we can try ourselves?

• Finding the positives alone - loneliness can be very harmful, but you can try to accept it and use it in a practical way (taking care of yourself, renovating, completing a planned training). This can be time spent on self-development and dealing with postponed matters;
• Discovering pleasure in simple things - enjoy various things appreciating moments, moments, small things (hot bath, delicious meal, new book, movie, planting plants);
• Doing good things for others - gestures towards others can be really satisfying (volunteering, helping the elderly or the sick);
• Support for loved ones - taking care of family ties, using the help of loved ones, spending a good time together (talking about feelings, hearing yourself, looking at yourself through the eyes of others, from a different perspective, looking for new solutions together);
•  Opening up to people and reaching out to them- nothing can replace face-to-face contact (meeting with a friend, colleague);
• Taking care of health - physical, by eating and exercising properly, and as a result increasing the level of endorphins (running, cycling, going to the gym);
• Looking for interests (hobby) - everyone can find the perfect option for themselves (e.g. chess, fitness, decoupage, embroidery, painting);
• Four-legged friend - found among abandoned animals in a shelter. With him will be associated duties, responsibility for the animal, affection.

Loneliness and treatment

Loneliness can be treated. In order to take this action, you have to want to, have an inner conviction that I need it. May help in this psychotherapy. There are many strands behind which are theories and methods of action. There is neither better nor worse among them. Everyone chooses it for themselves.

The most important factor in successful psychotherapy is the emerging relationship between the therapist and the patient. It is important in this situation for the patient to feel that he trusts the therapist, that from the first meetings there is an action between them to improve the situation of the patient who feels lonely.