Child's Anger: How Can You Deal With It?

Anger is an emotion. Emotions are messages from inside our body telling us that something is happening in it that serves or disturbs us. After receiving such a message, the next step is action - the concrete action of each person. Anger can cause screaming, increased gestures, stomping feet, throwing objects. Anger in a child is also dynamic, even in experiencing it internally - it is manifested by an accelerated heartbeat and clenching fists.

You don't know how to react to your child's anger? Or maybe you want to learn how to teach your child to deal with anger? We're about to share with you ways to deal with anger in children.

Anger a uncontrolled attacks of aggression in children

There are moments when a young person starts to get angry and there is an outburst of emotions that can lead to uncontrolled attacks of aggression in children - in the form of biting, kicking, screaming. In such situations, the strength and scale of the child's internal arousal exceed their cognitive and emotional capacity to deal with them on their own.

What is happening in the child is automatic - it is triggered by a stimulus and is often out of control. In such a situation, the child does not make any decisions, has no ill will, does not want to do anything out of spite, has no desire to harm anyone. Rather, she desperately calls for help from the adult guardian.

The child does out of spite?

Emotions are part of life. The outburst of anger is already a consequence of agitation that increased along with the accumulation of all difficulties in the child throughout the day. Sometimes a child does not anger us, but only unconsciously reacts because his basic needs, such as food or rest, are unsatisfied.

For a parent, in any child's emotional outburst, it is important to name the causes and see what happened before the tantrum started. In this situation, we will teach the child and ourselves to recognize the symptoms of an impending emotional storm and how to respond to the child's anger before it goes too far. You can also talk to your child about this situation, showing him the fact that emotions are a natural part of everyone's life, regardless of age. Such patient conversations can help us teach a child to deal with anger.

How to teach a child to deal with anger?

Everyone experiences a range of emotions and learns how to deal with them in different life situations. The parent does not always have an influence on what the child's anger will look like, but it always has an influence on his personal reaction to the child's behavior.

How to respond to your child's anger: knowledge about emotions

Emotions are an inner movement

Emotional states are manifested in the form of behavior. In the case of anger, it is - shouting, hitting or scratching. It is the external manifestation of all biochemical processes in the brain and, consequently, throughout the body.

"Fight or flight" - a mechanism of strong emotions

When the body is tense and energized, the child's adrenaline and cortisol levels also rise. The body becomes ready to act under the influence of an acute stress reaction, which may, in extreme cases, lead to uncontrolled attacks of aggression in a child.

Responsible for emotions are: the limbic system (mammalian brain) and the brainstem (reptilian brain)

Strong emotions cut people off from the rational brain and thus also the child loses the possibility of rational thinking, deduction and empathizing.

Genes are behind the strength of emotions and vulnerability to tantrums

The biological construction of a human being in the case of experienced emotions temper, which is a property of the nervous system that a person inherits from their parents. Some people take the stress longer, but recover longer. Others react violently, but their turbulent states are more short-lived.

Emotions convey a message about unmet needs

Being a man, also a child, in a state of dissatisfaction shows how resistant he can be to frustration. People also present different ways of expressing strong arousal as well as experienced emotional tension. Such differences result from temperament, and their regulation takes place in the child's upbringing process.

It is the parent who shows the child the limits, especially when he knows how to react to the child's anger in a situation of refusal. This attitude of the parent puts the child in front of a range of difficult emotions and teaches them how to deal with them.

Ways of dealing with anger in children

How to support a child in strong emotions? 

• Taking care of a safe environmentso that the child would not hurt himself or others.
• Taking care of your level of arousal and stressbecause if the parents experience difficult emotions, they will not be able to support the child. By caring for their own self-regulation, parents will be able to regain access to the "rational brain" to draw from its resources of empathy, understanding and peace.
• Contact with your baby by following him - dynamically finding oneself in the child's field of attention. It can be an action on the principle - saying "I can see that you are furious", with a slightly raised voice, or mirroring the child's face, stomping his foot with him. In this way, an emotional child feels noticed and begins to see the parent. They feel at body level, only then can the parent begin to speak and be heard by the child.
• Inviting the child to the parent's world - the peaceful world. After dynamic contact with the child, the parent begins to set the tone for further actions. Maybe the child will slowly agree to be taken by the hand, in the arms. A calm voice and the power of touch can affect the lost inner harmony, becoming a great way to anger children. Slowly, calmly, the parent can help the child cope with arousal. By hugging the child, the parent can support it in breathing with its steady rhythm, deepening and lengthening the breath.
• Showing other solutions - if the child's anger was caused by a conflict over disagreement with something, then redirecting energy will only make sense if the parent's intention is to satisfy the child's needs, and not to silence him by cheating or asking the topic.
• Conversation with the child. It only makes sense when both the child and the parent are safe, calm and relaxed. In such a situation, it is worth asking about the child's experiences, memory of the situation, observations and reflections. The parent should share the dose of the same. It is worth helping your child to name the accompanying emotions and to recognize those factors that were stressful that caused the over-stimulation.

Accompaniment in emotions

Everyone experiences difficult moments, everyone is sometimes carried away by stress, anxiety and storms of feelings, but seeing each other should restore the state of balance. If a parent is in contact with himself, he will also teach his child this art. We are able to know all emotions. Both her and her children. Careful observation will help us find instinctively the right ways to deal with children's anger. So to live in balance - peacefully and happily.