I am afraid of childbirth: what to do and how to deal with it?

Most women expecting a baby are afraid of childbirth. Even before pregnancy, this topic sometimes triggers strong emotions. Some women want to have a baby, but so badly they are afraid of childbirththat they postpone the decision to become pregnant. Childbirth is a very important experience. It concerns the physicality of a woman, her intimate sphere and strongly touches emotions.

If you are also concerned about childbirth, read this article. You will learn how to recognize whether your feelings are natural or if the level of fear is so strong that it indicates an anxiety disorder and requires professional treatment. You will find information here: what's that is the so-called tokophobia and what are its symptoms. We will try to point out why fear of childbirth is so common. 

Childbirth leads to great changes in the life so far

Let's think about it - why are you afraid of childbirth? Childbirth is a turning point in the life of a woman and her family. As mentioned, it's a powerful emotional and physical experience. The awareness that these special moments are approaching very often evokes fear.

If you think back to the stress that came with the big changes in your life, it's not hard to understand and accept that giving birth is also fearful. Before a big trip, moving to a new home, getting married and other positive change, we experience stress or anxiety of varying degrees (even though the background for fear is joy and excitement). Therefore, also in your head, the thought may appear: "I'm afraid of childbirth”, and fears sometimes keep you awake at night.

I want to have a baby, but I'm afraid of giving birth

It is worth remembering that the fear we experience in the face of a major life change is a symptom of our maturity and awareness. It proves that we do not treat significant events lightly. In addition, fear mobilizes us, for example, to meticulous preparations, to take care of even the smallest details.

During pregnancy, these will be home preparations for the arrival of the baby, taking care of your own health, diet, and physical activity. Searching for knowledge, e.g. on a forum on the Internet, related to childbirth.

"I'm afraid of childbirth": that is fear of labor pain

Childbirth is undoubtedly associated with pain. It is understandable that women who want to have a child are afraid of how they will bear it and how they will cope during childbirth.

The situation is not facilitated by the fact that pregnant women who are afraid of childbirth, visit the Internet forum, where they read reports of women who have already given birth. On the forum, they can often come across stories of strangers about the suffering experienced during childbirth. Difficult stories heard from other women - their mothers, friends, do not help either. Women who want to have a child, but are afraid of childbirth, are helpless in the face of these stories and may be even more afraid of childbirth.

You should be aware that you have a wide range of pain relief methods at your disposal during childbirth. Midwifery is changing its face and the experiences of your mother or grandmother do not apply to the present.

"I'm afraid of childbirth": concerns about feeling out of control over the situation and your body

Childbirth in the imagination of a woman may appear as a process over which she has no influence. It is independent of her will. How not to be afraid of childbirth, if even the moment of its beginning cannot be precisely planned.

Believe, therefore, that currently women have an impact on many factors related to the perinatal period and a lot depends on them. For example, the birth plan you will write is a set of preferences as to what your birth should look like. You decide, among other things, where you will give birth, who of your relatives will accompany you, what methods of pain relief you will use.

"I'm afraid of childbirth": fear of having to trust unknown people from the medical staff

During childbirth, a woman is looked after by hospital staff, usually people she has not known before. This may raise doubts in her, but remember that in the delivery room you will meet midwives and doctors who care about your delivery going smoothly and safely. They are responsible for that. It is always a well-educated staff. And the thread of understanding between the woman in labor and the midwife appears very often from the very first moments in the delivery suite.

"I'm afraid of childbirth": pworry about the safety of the newborn baby and your own

Even a properly proceeding childbirth is a powerful experience, the more the awareness that it may go unfavorably fills with fear. The safety of a newborn baby, a tiny and delicate creature, is the mother's greatest value.

Do you want to have a baby but are afraid of childbirth? We calm down again. You will be under the care of professional medical staff who will take care of your and your baby's safety. In addition, it is worth being aware that you are probably afraid of a complicated birth, because the reports you received from an internet forum or the media were often full of stories about abnormal births and complications. This affects the distorted perception of childbirth. And yet the vast majority of births are problem-free.

How do pregnant women manage not to be afraid of childbirth? 

Women try to deal with difficult emotions in different ways. The methods are effective, depending on the individual needs of the woman. After all, each of us is comforted by something different.

I am afraid of childbirth - how to reduce my fears?

• seek support in a conversation with a trusted loved one,
• to explain your fears, consult a specialist - a doctor or midwife,
• reach for various sources related to pregnancy and childbirth, recommended by midwives and doctors,
• sign up for childbirth classes,
• participate in gymnastics for pregnant women or support themselves with other physical activities.

Not often, but you can also encounter an attitude in which pregnant women accept fear and do not share their fears, and this is how they cope.

Tokophobia: what is it?

It is very possible that you have not come across the concept of tokophobia before. Below we describe what exactly tokophobia is and what are its symptoms.

If the fear is of a very strong intensity, even overpowering, definitely increases with the duration of pregnancy, it can be assumed that these are the symptoms of the so-called. tokophobia. What does it mean? Tokophobia is an anxiety disorder.

Tokophobia: symptoms

To the symptoms tokophobia includes:

• constant feeling of fear, intrusive thoughts about the danger of childbirth
• disruption of daily functioning due to stress
• sleep problems, recurring nightmares
• headache, abdominal pain
• feeling irritable
• fear increases with age

Tokophobia may take its original form. What does it mean? The primary form of tokophobia occurs in women who have not yet given birth. In those who have experienced childbirth, symptoms of pathological fear in connection with childbirth is called secondary tokophobia. Often, for women experiencing this disorder, the prospect of cesarean delivery causes less fear than vaginal delivery. Therefore, tokophobia is sometimes an indication for a caesarean.

Primary tokophobia

What is this? The primary fear of childbirth comes from the conviction of the danger behind it, the great suffering associated with it, the fear of pain and complications. As we have already mentioned, the negative message about childbirth, often found in the media, forums, among the close environment - from mothers and friends, does not help. It seems that less interesting are the reports about the normal course of childbirth, and they are much less often discussed. And since the scale is unstable and we do not realize how many births have a positive course in relation to the scary ones, which are a small percentage, it is easy to get a disturbed image of childbirth. Then it's hard to believe that giving birth can be a good experience.

Secondary tokophobia

It comes from lived experiences. Women who suffer from it often have a complicated birth, very painful or traumatic for them for other reasons. The specter of another childbirth still evokes bad experiences from which it is difficult for them to free themselves. Fear can take hold so strongly that a woman is afraid of getting pregnant again. Sometimes this past experience of sexual violence can be a factor in a woman's fear of childbirth.

A form of tokophobia has also been observed in women diagnosed with a depressive episode during pregnancy. It may manifest as a feeling that childbirth is beyond their strength and is a great danger to their lives.

Tokophobia as an indication for a cesarian and related controversies

Tokophobia is a matter of debate as it is now a common non-obstetric indication for a C-section. There are disputes about making this diagnosis. It is not a disease that can be diagnosed based on the results of laboratory and physical examinations. It is a disorder whose diagnosis requires a thorough interview, conversation, and even tests confirming the presence of tokophobia. Like other phobias, this one is not easy to understand and accept as a serious disorder. However, since other phobias are observed, why undermine childbirth, such a powerful experience, as a factor that can trigger pathological fear. Especially if the presence of tokophobia is confirmed by tests.

Controversies in the topic of tokophobia as indications for a caesarean arise from the fact that The consequences of a diagnosis of birth phobia are serious. On this basis, a cesarean section can be performed. It is argued that sometimes the qualification for a C-section on the basis of tokophobia is too hasty. It is also noted that after a patient is diagnosed with tokophobia, therapy and support should be offered to her. These steps would help in dealing with tokophobia - reducing its symptoms and in many cases a C-section would not be necessary.

What actions can be taken to not be afraid of childbirth? 

It is worth remembering that modern obstetrics is conducive to the positive experience of childbirth. Emphasis is placed on respecting their rights in perinatal care, reducing childbirth pain, supporting the parturient, and family deliveries. Educational visits to a primary health care midwife are extremely valuable for pregnant women in order to obtain reliable knowledge and explain their concerns.

The more women who experience a satisfying birth experience, the more positive messages there will be.

How not to be afraid of childbirth

If you are afraid of giving birth and your level of fear is moderate, explain your concerns to your midwife or doctor. Don't be ashamed to say out loud:I want to have a baby, but I'm afraid of giving birth". Base your knowledge about childbirth on professional sources. Try not to increase your fear by reading threads about "boi'm dying to give birthon an online forum. Avoid those situations that affect you negatively and increase fear. Try to distance yourself from stories that evoke stories about difficult births from many years ago. Probably some level of fear will remain in you, but it won't be very nagging.